I illustrated for Disney’s MULAN book “Mulan’s Lunar New Year”, (you can see the book here!) a children’s book about little Mulan spending Lunar New Year with her family.
It’s my first book and I want to share some illustrations :D [*will also have this book at my table at CTNx 2018 this year on display at T55!]
Looking back, there are lots that I want to improve on the crafting of my drawings for this book, but overall… I’m really glad I get to illustrate and to remember the joy and excitement I had celebrating Lunar New Years and lighting fireworks with my parents as a kid.
prehistoric burials make me really emotional because people go “it’s natural to only think of yourself to get ahead! people who don’t do anything shouldn’t be a part of society! back in caveman days they would have died!”
but there is archaeological proof that this is wrong. That even at our most “primitive” we cared about the well being of others.
like Shanindar 1. Shanindar 1 is a neanderthal from 35,000 to 45,000 years ago who was buried with many others in Shanindar Cave, Israel. At this point in time we had not yet developed settlements. Shanindar 1 was part of a nomadic hunter-gatherer group.
Shanindar 1 was severely disabled. From his skeleton we can gather the following
At a young age he had suffered a blow to the face which left him blind in one eye
He had significant hearing loss from birth deformities. One ear canal was completely blocked, while the other was only mostly blocked.
His right, and probably dominant, arm was withered, fractured, and the bottom half amputated.
He had a limp, possibly from a degenerative disease.
If you believe that it’s only natural to abandon the weak he should have been left to die instead of drain the group’s resources. Someone like that would have needed assistance for his entire life. He would have slowed the group down with his limp. His sensory impairments meant he would require help to spot and defend himself from predators. His arm meant he couldn’t hunt or build.
He lived well into his 40s. For a neanderthal of that era he would be considered old. His group decided that they would help him survive not because he brought anything to the group, but because he was still a person who mattered to them. Even at the end of his life he wasn’t abandoned; he was buried with dozens of others.
His group decided that they would help him survive not because he brought anything to the group
this… this is why I get uncomfortable with discussions about Shanindar 1. Because none of this is necessarily wrong, but there’s an underlying assumption being made in that phrasing.
You don’t know what he brought to the group. He probably wasn’t a great hunter or gatherer. But neanderthal life was, despite common belief, not just a matter of eating and not getting eaten. Most social animals have additional needs, which aren’t necessarily archaeologically evident.
Maybe he told really good jokes, and kept people’s spirits up. Maybe he was very good with children, and could look after them while their parents went out gathering food. Maybe he had a good memory, and could help to draw on past experiences; maybe he could tell interesting stories and keep social cohesion; maybe just the act of caring for him brought the tribe together.
Maybe none of that is true, and his survival was genuinely despite him bringing nothing to the tribe. I don’t believe it would have been wrong or foolish to keep him around just because he was family, and for no other reason. I don’t think he necessarily was a key part of the tribe.
I just think it’s very disconcerting that everyone assumes he wasn’t.
aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)
lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)
1) do I honestly intend to start the task despite my lack of success?
yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question
no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.
2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?
yes: next question
no: guess what? this is the real next task
3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?
yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.
no:next question
4) do I know how to start the task?
yes:next question
no: ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.
5) do I have everything I need to start the task?
yes: next question
no: ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.
6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?
i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.
i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?
the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?
I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)
i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?
no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead
7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?
yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.
reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.
no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t.
reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.
8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!
probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.
if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.
hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU
Ooh, this is a really lovely (and kind-hearted) guide for ADHD, executive dysfunction issues, or just plain ol’ brain fog! Should help with misplaced guilt, too.
Tiny dirty stray kitten hanging out at the bottom of our stairs since yesterday. There are a lot of self-reliant ferals around our apartment, but this little thing was dirty & covered in burrs. We gave it some chicken but couldn’t catch it. I think it may have wandered over from the outdoor cat hoarder colony down the street; that house is awful & we saw kittens there last week.
This morning the downstairs neighbor managed to grab it for us, and I put it on this cozy towel & started combing and picking the burrs & sticks out of its fur. It calmed down immediately and has been chilling here with me in the kitchen ever since. Got a vet appointment in an hour to get my little buddy cleaned up & checked out. I hope it isn’t too sick; I think it might have a cold.
If we can, we are probably going to keep her.
What a difference a day makes! Took this little guy to the vet, got the fleas and dirt washed off him, got some antibiotics for a slight cold, but he is otherwise fine. Kneading and purring up a storm, eating a lot and being heart-crushingly adorable.
We have named this glorious creature Nux.
A little over a month later and Nux is growing into a very long and floppy shoulder cat!
Oh my god!!!!
i’m so happy for this cat i hope nux knows im proud of him
i think “i wish platonic dates with friends were a thing” is another way of saying “i want a deep emotional intimacy.” it’s a new age. shallow friends are easy to find and hard to let go. the two of you can sit for coffee, talking about nothing, secretly texting under the table that you want to leave. she begs you to come to the party but abandons you once you’re through the door. he won’t talk to you outside of class, won’t even look at you even though two weeks ago you kissed.
it’s the age of the internet and our empathy is evolving. yes, isn’t long-distance now so easy. there’s a lot we have to be thankful for.
but there’s a lot that’s changing. there’s no words for the emotion you feel when someone is taking a picture with you that you know is only happening because they want to look fun and popular and you’re a prop; there’s no word for when you know it’s because you’re uglier than them and it makes them look good - there’s no word for watching people socialize for social media credit. we know it happens. not just “hang on let me take a picture of my food.” not just “i’ve got to text my mom back, one sec.” i mean that strange distance between two people who comment on each other’s posts but cannot connect in person. i mean you pour out your soul on twitter but then clam up in person. i mean internet loneliness; the sensation of 212 thousand followers and still so empty, knowing if the plane goes down, the ocean of the internet will wash out your memory.
“i want a friend date,” she says, and he snorts - you mean friends?
it’s hard, sometimes. finding a best friend. when i was little i had an assignment about it. i remember crying in the hallway because i didn’t have one. everyone else in class did. i wrote about my shadow. i didn’t fit in. over the years i’ve had a couple. one turned out pure evil. a few were my best friend but i wasn’t theirs, in the end. a lot just drifted from me until we were only friends by nostalgia, not connection. but i ached for the feeling of a best friend the whole time: the person you can be silent with, the person you can be wild with, the person you can be 100% yourself with.
we live in a society where romance is said to be the only space you’re allowed to really be close with someone. how many of us have said to make sure you marry your best friend. we know from dating that there exists a kind of connection we don’t always get in our friends - even a platonic one, a connection of spirit, a freedom of behavior.
i get it. a platonic date sounds wonderful. it’s not hurting anybody. let’s both have three seconds where we’re honest with each other in a raw kind of way. it’s terrifying. or we could just talk about what’s bothering you. i’m also still fucked up about the avatar: the last airbender ending; i also don’t get katara and aang.
it’s about trust. about vulnerability. so yeah. maybe i’ve done all kinds of platonic-date things. but i’ve also had the opposite happen: the non-friend. someone you don’t want to cut out, not necessarily - but not someone you can tell your secrets to in the end. i think what we’re all asking for is to be less lonely. we want to get close to people, but we don’t want to seem like we’re hitting on somebody.
come on out with me. we’ll both dress up and drink wine and split the bill and talk about deep things. be best friends for a moment. lord knows i need one. what i’m asking is for a quick moment of emotional intimacy. of reality. of not-just-here-for-the-party. i think a date sounds lovely.
